


Boxed memoirs

by SmileDesu



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: Grief, M/M, Mourning, mama altman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileDesu/pseuds/SmileDesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mementos of lost loved ones can lurk in the most unexpected places, dragging up the grief you thought you finally managed to cope with</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boxed memoirs

Billy sighed, a disapproving frown on his face as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He ran his hand through his hair yet again, smoothed his hand over his short-sleeved plaid button-up shirt, made sure his belt buckle was right in the middle. He reconsidered taking _that_ particular watch and perhaps he _should_ wear that bracelet? It _was_ kind of silly but Teddy did win it for him, so what better occasion to wear it on than a date with the guy? Then again, it _was_ silly... cute, yet silly... oh to hell with it all, he thought and wrapped the thing around his wrist just as his phone sprang to life, letting him know he had fifteen minutes before he absolutely _had_ to go out. The indecisiveness was no more so he grabbed almost blindly at his wallet, phone and jacket, oh, his keys, too, shoved it all in his bag, and started downstairs.  
The house, a temporary residence while they worked things out with their insurance company about their old, destroyed home, was cluttered with boxes, still packed since they moved in a short while ago. While dodging one box Billy almost tripped over his younger brother Aaron who let out a yell; that made the youngest brother Daniel shout as well. Billy had half a mind of joining in when their mother got into his line of sight, making him try and calm his brothers down instead.  
  
"Woooooah! Woah! Woah. Chill."  
  
"Is this yours?" Daniel asked in a blunt change of subject, holding up a shirt he pulled out of the box he was currently going through. Billy quirked a brow at the thing before shaking his head.  
  
"No, it's Aaron's."  
  
"Oh," the youngest sibling cooed before digging through the box with noticeable enthusiasm, much to the middle brother's chagrin. Knowing better than to get involved, Billy joined his parents in the kitchen. Rebecca was watching the small TV set perched on the counter while Jeff tended to the tray he just took out of the stove, covered with freshly baked cookies.  
  
"Ah, ah, aaaa _ah_!" Jeff roared when Billy tried to snatch one, making the teen escape to his mother's side. Rebecca chuckled and rubbed her hand over Billy's arm before pulling back to take a proper look at him.  
  
"My, you look _nice_!" She exclaimed before a more sober air took over. "Are you going to see Teddy?"  
  
Billy nodded, the shadow of a frown on his face. "I don't want him to stay alone too much."  
  
"I agree," Rebecca nodded and squeezed his shoulder. The same incident that cost them their home cost Teddy his lone relative, his mother. That was the reality awaiting them when the fighting was over, making Billy try and spend as much time as he could with his boyfriend - even more so than usual, that is. At times, Teddy did ask for time alone, and Billy respected that, but thankfully Teddy didn't keep him away for long. Billy was... not quite happy, but certainly eager to be there for his partner.  
  
"Your friend Tommy's there too, right?" Jeff asked while placing the cookies in a plastic box. Billy wondered about that but shrugged, for the time being satisfied with labeling Tommy as a 'friend'. What they really were to each other beyond doppelgangers was anyone's guess.  
  
"The Vision, as well. It's a relief, actually, since Ted's never _really_ alone there... why do you ask?"  
  
"To know how many cookies to pack for you. I'll just give you the whole tray," the father explained and filled the box before closing it. "Hang on, I'll get you a bag."  
  
"This isn't fair," was Aaron's opinion on the matter which he voiced once he walked in to get some water. "You're not only bailing on the unpacking, now you're also stealing our cookies!"  
  
"C'mon, Aaron, you've lived with dad long enough to know he _never_ stops at one tray," Billy teased just before Jeff held up the next tray to go in the oven.  
  
"This isn't the last, either!"  
  
"But I wanted one _now_! Not fair!"  
  
Billy watched his dad mock-struggle with his siblings, only to blink when he felt his mother's hand on his back. He found Rebecca with her eyes glued to the TV where an item about the upcoming Super Human Registration Act was playing, with the news anchor narrating over one of Tony Stark's speeches.  
  
"I don't suppose they'd spare minors, would they?" Rebecca asked quietly. Billy watched her worried expression for a moment before wrapping his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Minors with super-powers we were born with. It's not like they can just take them away... well, I mean, they _can_ , but--"  
  
"But SHIELD agents _everywhere_!" Daniel interjected, making both eldest son and mother blink down at him. The boy hunched his shoulders at the intense attention. "That- that's what Aaron said!"  
  
"What, it's true." Aaron added and stole a cookie from the box before Jeff shooed him away.  
  
"More like SHIELD's _soldiers_..." Billy muttered right before his phone rang again, ending the debate. It was his final-call alarm so he grabbed the box of cookies before his brothers could pillage it further.  
  
"Do you want me to drive you over?" Rebecca asked, and Billy suspected it was her way of keeping him in her sights a while longer after that conversation. He smiled but shook his head. "Nah, it'll be faster if I avoid traffic. Besides, don't you have to meet a patient soon? You said something about that at breakfast.  
  
"Alright... be sure to give Teddy our regards," his mother requested and hummed when Billy kissed her cheek. "And if he wants to come over, there's _always_ room for him here."  
  
"Mom, there's barely room for _us_ here," Aaron argued; Jeff patted him on the head with his oven mitt still on before looking at Billy.  
  
"Let me know how they liked the cookies, I'll have more at the ready."  
  
"Stop giving our cookies away!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Rebecca tried to pacify the younger siblings, leaving Billy free to grab the cookie box and make a run for it. He grabbed his bag on the way out and made a beeline for the nearest alleyway. The beauty about what he was about to do - or attempt to do, at any rate - was that he didn't even lie to his mother - this _would_ take less time than if she drove him.  
  
" _IwanttobebytheLairIwanttobebytheLairIwant--_ "  
  
The air around him changed and Billy opened his eyes to find himself not far from the recently refurbished Bishop publishing house.  
  
"...the Lair... it _worked_!" Billy cheered and was about to cross the road when a car honked, making him jump back in the nick of time. The driver yelled something as he drove away, leaving Billy behind to try and catch his breath. Making a mental note to better survey his surroundings first the next time he teleported (He. Frigging. _Teleported_! He _had_ to tell Teddy--), Billy made good use of the red light to calm down before finally reaching the Lair.  
"I should just teleport _in_ next time... I mean, now that it works-- it _works_!"  
  
"What, the lock? Yeah, it does, so?"  
The less than cheerful greeting came from none other than Tommy Shepherd, the newest addition to their team, and Billy's supposed long lost twin brother. The similarity was eerie, but Billy tried not to let it get to him and simply closed the door behind him.  
  
"I was talking about some magic stuff."  
  
"I'll let you know if your Hogwarts application letter comes in by owl."  
  
"If only," Billy sighed over-dramatically, earning a roll of his eyes from Tommy. Determined not to let it get to him, Billy cleared his throat. "Who else is around?"  
  
Tommy shrugged. "Cassie came by earlier and took Vizh away, haven't seen Kate or Eli today yet," he paused to eye Billy's clothes before motioning towards the stairs. "Your B-F is upstairs."  
  
"Thanks," Billy replied simply. Tommy turned away and towards the living-room area, his attention returning to the DVD boxes he was holding. They were all excellent picks Billy didn't expect Tommy to be into, and while it did give them something to talk about, Billy decided to save it for later. He came there for a very specific purpose, after all.  
  
–  
  
It was weird, thinking the industrial structure was to be lived in, but Billy couldn't help but smile when he reached Teddy's room. The door's surface was decorated with pictures and stickers, leaving no room for mistakes as to who resided there. He brought his hand up to the door, only to reconsider his course of action. He then fished out his phone and sent Teddy a text message saying 'knock knock'. He heard the notification sound from across the door and chuckled. He wasn't rewarded for his efforts, however, seeing how minutes passed yet still Teddy didn't get the door. Billy frowned before knocking in the good old fashioned way. After a moment he heard muffled fumbling, and after a moment more Teddy got the door. In stark contrast to Billy's kempt self and the smile on his face, Teddy was disheveled and tousled, and more than a bit disoriented. Upon recognizing who it was that knocked, his expression brightened, if only somewhat. Billy smiled more warmly and reached for Teddy's cheek; the blond closed his eyes and took hold of that hand, holding on for a moment.  
  
"You missed my knock-knock text."  
  
"Oh..." Came the bland response. Teddy sniffled before moving aside to let Billy in.  
  
"Thanks", the would-be witch said and deposited his bag in a clear corner. He looked around, taking in the open boxes in the middle of the room. "Just like home, truly," he joked. Teddy wasn't as amused, frowning at the clock on the wall.  
  
"Damn... I'm sorry, I thought I had time, I--"  
  
"Was busy, yes, I see that." Billy finished and looked at the box before glancing at Teddy, who was scratching the back of his neck. It was true the two haven't known each other for that long, but Billy still liked to think he knew Teddy fairly well, and so he was convinced Teddy had been crying up to when he arrived. Any physical evidence such as red eyes had already healed, but there was still the sniffles, and the damp quality Billy felt when he touched his cheek. On top of that, Teddy just seemed so sad, but as Billy wasn't sure how to address the matter, he bade his time.  
"Your disc collection, huh? what's the occasion?" He crouched next to the box and carefully browsed through the titles. Teddy sat down on the bed where Billy suspected he had been sitting before, seeing how close and within reach the box was like that. Teddy looked at the box with something akin to pain, so Billy drew on what he hoped was a neutral enough topic and in a way, was the answer to his own question. "Was it for Tommy? I saw him with some nice picks earlier."  
  
"He asked for something to kill time..." Teddy replied softly, his voice strained. He forced himself to answer, Billy knew, and decided that was enough. He let the silence remain while he rummaged through the box some more. A tiny sound left him as he pulled out a DVD box, the cover belonging to a rather old movie he couldn't imagine actually belonged to Teddy (unless he _didn't_ know him that well after all).  
  
"Mom loves this movie! How come you--"  
He turned to look at Teddy only to find him with tears in his eyes. That instantly put Billy on edge and he straightened up, but for all his good intentions he knew not what to do or say when Teddy rested his elbows on his knees and buried his head in his hands.  
  
"It's not mine... it was mom's!" He gasped out, the words hitting Billy like a punch to the gut. He looked down at the DVD before putting it back next to the other titles he realized must've also belonged to Mrs. Altman. He looked at Teddy for a long while before concluding words weren't going to help, so he might as well give up on looking for something to say. He therefore pushed the box away and knelt in front of Teddy, arms pulling the other against him. It was an awkward hug, and one-sided at that, with BIlly doing his best to hold Teddy while Teddy cried without moving much from his initial pose. Billy rubbed wide, slow circles over his back, eyes shutting whenever Teddy let out a particularly loud sob. He knew better than to think there was anything he could do to stop it, and frankly, he didn't want to. As much as it hurt to see Teddy like this Billy knew he needed the outlet, and was determined not to budge until Teddy cried his fill. The absolute least he could do was be there for him in the meanwhile.  
A good while later, Teddy's crying lessened into occasional sniffles and labored breaths. Billy realized he was slowly pulling away so he let him, hands running from his back over his arms where they stayed when Teddy pulled up. He was still slumped, shoulders low and eyes downcast. Billy smiled briefly only to give up on that; Teddy didn't need cheering up - he needed support and comfort.  
  
"Hey," Billy said softly, almost a whisper. "You ok?"  
  
Teddy spared him a glance before shaking his head.  
  
"...Yeah, I don't know what I was expecting," Billy berated himself. He glanced back up at Teddy whose face was a mess and was looking at the tissue box on the nightstand. Billy grabbed the item before sitting down on the bed next to Teddy, one hand holding the box up while the other he held tentatively up next to Teddy's back. The hesitation disappeared when Teddy gravitated towards him, and Billy wrapped his arm around Teddy's shoulders. He kept quiet while Teddy finished wiping his nose and eyes, in the meanwhile simply holding him, hand rubbing over his upper arm.  
  
"This morning, I..." Teddy began weakly. Billy watched him silently, not saying anything even when Teddy toyed with the tissue box. "I woke up, was feeling ok. Was really... _really_ looking forward to our date," he added, and glanced at Billy before looking down again. He let out what Billy assumed was meant to be a chuckle, but all it actually was was a frustrated outtake of air and a shrug. " _Now_ look at me. I'm a _mess_ , it's late, and you're here, looking handsome and _smelling so good_..."  
  
The flattery would've been much better received if Teddy didn't seem so goddamn miserable. The blond shook his head before hanging it low in shame.  
"I'm sorry," the words hung in the air for a moment before Billy let out a soft breath.  
  
"Teddy, you have nothing to apologize for," he reassured, to little avail.  
  
"I ruined our date," came the bitter mumble. Billy shook his head and pulled Teddy a bit closer.  
  
"Ok, first thing, it's not _that_ late. If you're up for it, there's a lot we can still do. Second - I forgive you," he paused to let the words sink in and only then continued. "If you need a rain-check on the date, I won't hold it against you. And honestly? I'd be so much _more_ worried about you if you _didn't_ get like this once in a while."  
  
"I get like this _all_ the time, Billy," Teddy argued and leaned forward, pulling out of Billy's hold. Billy let him go without a fight before moving to follow, leaning his elbows on his knees to still be able to look at Teddy's profile.  
"There's no end to this!"  
  
If he reached for him, would Teddy pull away again, Billy wondered and instead resorted to words he finally felt comfortable using. "Teddy, it hasn't been that long, and you've been through _so_ much... you'll hate me for this, but these things take time. In the meanwhile, if you need to be sad, be sad! Cry, even! These things need an outlet. It might not seem like it, but this, this is actually _good_ for you!"  
  
"It's _exhausting_ , is what this is," Teddy growled. He looked away, waiting for Billy to counter that too, but instead what he got was a hand on his back and a soft whisper.  
  
"I know," Billy said quietly. This acceptance of things hit Teddy hard, and he deflated before leaning back against Billy, slightly slumped over the bed so he could rest his head on Billy's shoulder. Billy hugged his shoulders again and rested his head against Teddy's, cheek pressing against his hair.  
"I know," he repeated for emphasis or to fill the silence, it mattered little which. He tilted his head and planted a kiss on the top of Teddy's head. They remained like this for a while, Teddy sniffling on occasion and wiping his eyes with Billy nuzzling against his hair every now and then. Finally Billy felt it was appropriate enough to speak again, when Teddy's occasional sniffling had subsided.  
  
"I meant what I said. If you want a rain-check, I'm ok with that," he started, trying not to get a mouthful of hair while he spoke. "Or if you still want a date, why not just stay in? Your disc collection's already out, I could pick something and we'll snuggle in front of the TV downstairs."  
  
Teddy stalled before answering, and when he did, it wasn't anything Billy expected it to be.  
  
"Not Sound of Music."  
  
A disgruntled huff left Billy on instinct. He nodded then, effectively rubbing his cheek against Teddy's head. "Do you even have that movie? Not that it matters, I won't pick it, I promise," he reassured and a moment later Teddy pulled up but not quite away this time. Billy smiled and gently ran his hand through the blond mess of hair.  
"Here's another idea-" He began, the back of his fingers rubbing gently against Teddy's cheek. "How about you go wash up? I'll order us pizza, and get the cookies dad made within reach for when we're ready for them. What do you say?"  
  
"...your dad made cookies?"  
  
The show of genuine interest made Billy smile a bit more widely.  
"Yeah. He took them out of the oven right before I went out."  
  
There was something not unlike longing that crossed Teddy's face. "He makes good cookies."  
  
"He does," Billy agreed. He waited, but Teddy said nothing more, only stared at Billy in a way the mage couldn't quite decipher.  
"...what?"  
  
"It's just..." Teddy tried before tugging at the hem of Billy's shirt. "You look so nice, I wish I got to show you off."  
  
The bashful look on Teddy's face made Billy swoon. He cupped Teddy's cheek, gently making his boyfriend look at up at him.  
"The guy I dressed up for already saw me... and _smelled_ me, for that matter."  
  
The hesitant, flattered smile turned into a short burst of laughter Teddy himself seemed surprised about. Billy inhaled deeply, feeling his chest swelling at both sight and sound.  
  
"Ah, there it is," he softly exclaimed, voice lacking any boasting at the triumph, instead carrying honest joy and relief. He ran his thumb under Teddy's lips to better convey what he meant before bringing his hand to the back of Teddy's neck. Teddy seemed confused but all around bashful, even more so when Billy leaned closer. His lips met Teddy's forehead, making Teddy close his eyes. He held onto Billy's forearm, hold tightening slightly when Billy kissed his cheek. Billy remained there for a moment, before poking the tip of Teddy's nose with his own.  
  
"Boop," Billy announced with grave importance as he pressed their foreheads together. Teddy let out a soft breath in response, and seemed content for the first time since Billy came in. For a moment Billy pondered if they were going to do more, and more importantly if they _should_ given Teddy's state, but before he could share that dilemma with Teddy a knock came from the door, making both teens blink in confusion. Billy was the first to recover, and the first thing he did was roll his eyes.  
  
"Of course. Tommy. He _always_ has the _best_ timing."  
  
Teddy actually seemed amused by this development, judging by the soft chuckle that left him. It was enough to let Billy smile back.  
"Want me to get that?"  
  
Teddy nodded before reaching for another tissue while Billy answered the door.  
  
"What is it, To--" He looked over his shoulder at sudden noise. Teddy winced and seemed sheepish, having just blown his nose loudly.  
  
"...sorry."  
  
Billy winked at him before looking back at Tommy, and the borrowed DVD case the speedster was holding up.  
  
"It's the third volume. I need the first."  
  
Billy took the item and examined it. It was a lighter drama he and Teddy both liked, and that gave him an idea. He turned back to Teddy, holding the DVD box up.  
"Hey Ted, how about it?"  
  
Teddy looked up at the box, then at Billy, who was quirking a brow questioningly at him. Teddy then glanced at Tommy before giving Billy a worried look. Billy shrugged lightly and mouthed 'it's ok', hoping to convey he'd be fine either way. Finally, Teddy nodded and blew his nose again, this time mindful of the volume.  
Billy turned back to Tommy; Tommy was still looking back and forth between them.  
  
"What just happened?"  
  
"We're joining you."  
  
"What." Tommy blinked.  
  
"There's pizza in it for you," Billy said to grab Tommy's attention before tilting his head in Teddy's direction. Said boyfriend looked at the would-be twins with confusion, but it was enough to leave an impression, making Tommy growl.  
  
"Ugh... _fine_ , but _no_ spoilers--" He counted off one finger. " _No_ debates until I'm out of the room--" Another, and then he leaned closer, a dangerous look in his eyes. "And _no making out_."  
  
Billy's eye twitched at the over-the-top manner in which Tommy listed his conditions. He then sighed in resignation.  
" _Fine_... huh?" He blinked down at the hand Tommy held up.  
  
"Pizza money. We both know it'll be faster if I pick it up. Your usuals, I take it?"  
  
Billy glanced at Teddy while he fumbled for his wallet. A silent nod was offered, and with it Billy placed the money in Tommy's hand.  
  
"Don't forget the bag, you know it gets cold when you run with it!"  
  
"Aye aye, Cap'n!"  
Tommy was gone, leaving Billy to turn his attention back to Teddy, who was now on his feet.  
  
"Guess we have a third wheel... but at least now we can use the big TV, right?"  
  
Teddy nodded and let Billy hold his hands. Their eyes met, and at the first sign of movement on Teddy's part Billy moved too, closing the distance. The kiss was soft yet awkward and Billy didn't resist when Teddy broke it, instead moving to nuzzle Teddy's cheek again.  
  
"Yousmell _real_ nice," Teddy whispered, and was rewarded with a grin.  
  
"Wouldn't it be fun to snuggle with me on the couch like this?"  
  
There was that look again, the one indicating Teddy was quite into the idea but hadn't the energy needed to actually seem excited or happy about it. Billy still got it, and replied by lightly tapping his finger against Teddy's nose, and oh, was it cute when it wiggled...  
"Boop."  
  
"Nuu..."  
  
Billy laughed, and for a moment let himself appreciate Teddy's small smile, before motioning towards the door.  
"C'mon, the shower awaits, we both know Tommy won't be gone _that_ long and I also need to find that disc."  
He pulled away as much as he could without taking back the hand Teddy was still holding onto. When he refused to let go Billy pulled closer again, his concern once again rising.  
  
"Tee?"  
  
"I--" Teddy started, but the words failed to come. He stared at their joined hands until his own began to tremble. Billy bettered his hold of Teddy's hand, and at the gesture Teddy looked up, showing Billy his tear-filled eyes and quivering lips.  
  
"Thank you," he whispered, and that was all Billy could take. He pulled him into a hug, one hand buried in Teddy's hair with the other still holding onto Teddy's. Teddy cried with abandon, but there was something about it, a hollow, broken quality that when Teddy eventually calmed down and pulled away, seeming spent at last, Billy wasn't quite surprised. It wasn't to last forever, but at least for the time being - he was done. It was enough to make Billy smile as he reached to wipe Teddy's tears. Teddy offered him a brief smile before looking away sheepishly.  
  
"Right... I'll... go wash up."  
  
"Wait, Ted?" Billy asked before Teddy left the room. "Won't you need a towel? And an actual change of clothes? I know you don't _need_ it, but it might feel better than shifting..."  
  
Teddy huffed out in frustration he tried to mask with a pretense of amusement. He reached gingerly for Billy's face and Billy stayed still, relishing the contact Teddy finally initiated.  
  
"What would I do without you?"  
  
"You're not going to find out," Billy insisted, and kissed Teddy's hand. The smile, small and fragile, lasted long enough, that Teddy was still wearing it when he left the room. Billy stared at the closed door for a moment more, trying to figure out how to tackle the mixture of emotions inside him, battling concern and compassion and care and affection and--  
He shook his head and kneeled by the box, cheeks red.  
  
–  
  
On the table were the mostly empty boxes of pizza and half empty box of cookies. Tommy commandeered the TV couch and the couple let him, settling instead on the sofa, with Teddy lying over Billy, a thin blanket covering the both of them. Despite his demand that no fanboy debates took place, Tommy didn't stop asking questions and raising theories. Billy figured it was due to his hastened perception that made it seem like he was losing focus and didn't mind engaging with him too much - he's watched that show enough times before. And Teddy? Teddy wasn't even looking at the screen. He had his head against Billy's chest and at one point Billy realized his boyfriend had fallen asleep despite the twins' banter. So much for their date, Billy thought with a mock-pout that was wasted on his slumbering companion, only to follow up on it with a fond smile. Teddy needed the rest, and the knowledge he felt at ease enough to snooze like this made Billy nothing short of elated. He kissed the top of his head before settling back down, and let himself fully enjoy the peaceful, if awkward evening.  
  



End file.
